Assistant Director of the ACCA, Director of Early Childhood, or Ninja Super Spy?

‘Words of Wisdom’

Assistant Director of the ACCA

Director of Early Childhood

or

Ninja Super Spy?

You Decide!

By A. Nonymous

What’s up J-squad homies! Have you noticed a lack of J-blogs lately? We can explain why in three words or less … Sir Vincent Eugene Hamilton... wait … Hamman. Ok, that was four words, but stick with us here. He is known all too well within our school as Dr. Hamman. Not to be confused with Hamman the science guy. So this so-called ‘Dr.’ has been avoiding our J-squad paparazzi. This is why we have not been able to produce a blog. We even sent out Varsity Agents (Chastin and Hermy) but they were unsuccessful in finding this Hamman guy. We liken Eugene to a sasquatch. We know he exists but he is rarely seen. Maybe he is Dumbledore in disguise. Or maybe he doubled as Dumbledore’s stunt man in H.P.… Either way we did catch a glimpse of him in the lunchroom once, so we know he’s legit… This guy must’ve been an invisible man for Halloween and still has his costume on. We do have intelligence(via Hermy and Chastin) stating that this dude sports a fedora on special occasions. Wait… Sir Vincent Eugene is no dude. Vincent is Thor-like. He’s a man, a handsome, muscular MAN! Perhaps Vicent is like true love. He appears when you least expect it. With this being said, here’s the question: DOES DR. EUGENE HAMMAN HAVE A LASER SWORD HIDDEN IN THE SLEEVE OF HIS DRESSY DRESS SHIRT? The answer? … It is entirely possible. For all we know this guy is a Sith Lord who is clouding our judgement. In which case we should be calling him Darth Hamman. That’s right Eugene… the J-Squad is on to you. Vincent Eugene Hammon, we are calling you out! Please respond to our emails, letters, voicemails, tweets, snaps, skypes, instagrams, facebook posts, and tiktoks. But not too early because we sleep in.

Sincerely, the J-squad.